Everything But The Title In Modern Dating

We keep it real about situationships, why “everything but the title” can feel good and still mess you up, and who really has the power when feelings aren’t equal. We also get honest about closure, petty arguments, and the small moments that expose what people actually want. 
We define situationships as romance without the title and who controls the situationship and why it’s usually the person who wants less.
Can a situationship can graduate into a real relationship? We break it down.
How situationships end and why they can feel harder than breakups and closure versus continuance and the truth behind asking to “talk” 
Does closure have an expiration date.

Youtube   to https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPIs6Ko7BCc9l5jlE5AbAUqZ0gAOhmuq-

https://mixed-vibez-drip.printify.me/

Transcript

Welcome Back And Season Talk

SPEAKER_04 0:03

What do what it is? Welcome to another episode of Hold Up in another thing presented by Mixed Vaz Media. You already know the bass, it's your boy, Mr. Bell. AKAK say your name up on his pod. Might not be with you to my uh you know what I'm saying. Speaking of mixed vice media, right? You know what I'm saying? I own part of Mixed Vaz Media, and this brother ain't been here, you know, for a while, but he owns the other part of Mixed Vaz Media, man. Mr. Quay. What up, Quake?

SPEAKER_03 0:33

What's going on, my dog?

unknown 0:35

Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Okay, Kyle, bro. You know what I'm saying? Glad you know, I'm glad we got you over here on Hold Up for the first time. I ain't gonna lie, bro.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

No, we're the last time you did a hold up in first time in years. I years is crazy. First time in year. I mean, you know, a a solo episode. Yeah, it's been a minute.

Defining A Situationship

SPEAKER_04 0:56

Yeah, yeah, it's probably it's probably been it's probably been a little girl. That's because you used to be the season finale. And then I ain't I really did seasons in a minute. So it's like shit. I guess the quag episodes is the season finale. He ends the he ends the season. But yeah, no, we hear that. We here now. I'm just here now. Yeah, no, in fact, we we here now. I might look, we might call this the the the the season finale. Well, I'll start something else over here on the next one. Come up with a storyline or something. I might I might you know start getting creative with the hold up. Takes a little, it takes some time though. You got a lot of the shit going on. But quag in the building. We're gonna we're gonna keep it a buck on this episode. We're gonna keep it real for as long as I can before other shit cracking. So we're gonna keep it a buck. Um, bro, where are you gonna start with? You wanna start with situationships or you gonna start with close?

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Let's start with situationships. Let's start with situationships.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

Okay, cool, cool. Okay, let's do it like this. What is the what defines situationship to you?

SPEAKER_03 2:07

To me, uh a situationship is you know uh uh a romantic relationship that ain't necessarily uh uh got a uh a full-fledged title. That's my my situationships for for dummies. Here we go.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

I think I'm along the same lines. It's uh for me, I always look at it as everything but the title.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Everything but the title.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

But it's but you reason you ain't got no title, so ain't reason ain't no title, so everybody still got a little freedom to do some shit, but you also get hurt in your chest sometimes when the other person be out here doing some shit. So as I said, it's everything but the title. To me, that's definition of like you said, for the dummies, situationship is everything for the dummy. Um who you think is more in control when you think of a situation ship? Or did is it or is it gender specific? Because I don't think it's I don't think it's actually gender specific.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

You think one gender has more control than the other?

SPEAKER_04 3:27

No, I don't think it's that at all. I think okay, I think it's emotionally. So the person who because most of the time in situations, not all the time, probably about 50% of the time. One of the people want to actually be in a relationship and the other person don't. I think the person who don't want to be in a relationship is in more control because they're dictating the way the relationship goes in those situations. I think I think a lot, I think, like I said, I think it's 50% of the time. 50% of the time, situationships is one person who wants to be in a relationship and one person who doesn't, and the person who doesn't controls everything, and the person who wants to be in a relationship is just going with the they just going along with it because they get something, they ain't getting what they want, but they basically they settle it.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Self facts. I see that no for sure.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

You can't be in control if you settle it.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

You can think you in control, though.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

You think you in control, but you settle if you taking the crumbs that this person, other person is giving you, so you you know what I'm saying? You can't you definitely not in control, but I think, like I said, I think that's 50% of the time. Duncan the other 50% of the time, both people is just kind of going with the flow.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

They both understand the assignment.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

Yep, we just both we both just heard. We both fight one or both of us maybe just got out of another relationship, and we don't want to rush back into it, but we want the feelings and everything that comes along with we won't we want that feeling without the commitment. That's the part of the other thing without with situationships. I want everything without having to commit to it. So I think that happens 50% of the time, but what you think?

SPEAKER_03 5:13

I see, I I I do think it's a trial-by-trial basis, like it depends on the situation for sure. Um, there is often times where you know motherfuckers throw their weight around. I walk out this door and you'll never see me again. You never hear from me again, and and then it's whatever you want. It it can go, it can go either way for sure. Um I don't I don't really see many times where a bit. I was about to say, when a woman's in control of the situationship, she really try to play it as, you know, friendship, friends with benefits. Like it's it's always it's always, you know, a friend behind it. I don't know, I ain't never seen where it's just, you know, we we do this and we be all lovey dovey, and then you know, we going about our way. No, no, no. It's always places of oh, that's my friend, my best friend, my boy best friend, you know, it's all these all these different little little levels to it. It's cool, do what you do, but um, mm-mm.

SPEAKER_04 6:44

All right, we gotta hit on it. Oh is situations like a real thing? Situationships a real thing, or is it just confusing? Is it somebody just is is it is the two parties just confused or one party confused, or is situationships like you know, a real a real thing we could count.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

I guess count is not the proper word, but you get what I'm saying. Uh a situationship is is just it's complicated, ain't that on Facebook still? Yeah, it's complicated, that's all it is. So that's confusion. That sounds like that sounds like confusion. Complication, confusion. I mean, it's a thin line. Um I feel like a situation ship is just another form of relationships at this point. You got, you know, your traditional relationships, and you got uh, you know, your poly relationships, you got your sneaky links, you got your situationships, you feel me? You got your J I Cs.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Mm. Mm. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 7:59

It can just go a multitude of ways.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

All right, so we we we label we label all of those as different types of relationships.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

At this point, nah, I feel like they are like they they subcategories, you know.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Subcategories of relationships as well. Is that that's so we doing that? Is it where we at, Dale?

SPEAKER_03 8:20

I I think we are, man. Like I said, we we just we still in the year of the sneaky link.

Sneaky Links Versus Just In Case

SPEAKER_04 8:26

All right, so you brought up something. Let's look. What's the difference between a just in case and a sneaky link? Cause to me, they kind of ain't they along the same path, or it's just just just in case have more.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I think a just in case is uh that's that's like a last resort.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

But ain't that like your sneaky link? That's your damn bad sneaky link.

SPEAKER_03 8:52

Nah, I feel like your sneaky link, your sneaky link, you know, for those that have sneaky links, I feel like your sneaky link is supposed to be your uh that's like your little, your little, while while that is your just in case, that's that's your that's that's a regular thing. Okay. Okay, that's your regular. Yeah, a sneaky link. Y'all sneaking, but y'all, y'all got some type of understanding adjusting cases when your sneaky link don't answer the phone. Adjusting cases is that number in the phone, uh a charity that's been blowing you up, trying to get with you for a little minute, and you was like, Yeah, you know, I'm egging up for real. That's a that's adjusting case. Adjusting cases, like for a female, that's just the the the the lunch nigga, the nigga that buys lunch.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

I was gonna say that's the nigga that's gonna have the weed. Yeah. Just in case for them, when you damn bad, you know he coming through with a with a sack, or like you said, he coming through with a lunch, or he gonna he got a look at ass breath for you. He's at your last resort. He don't wanna go that route.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Because for whatever reason, they it's the reason he ain't he ain't he, you know, got it yet.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

He ain't graduated, he ain't graduated to nothing higher. Yeah, okay, just in case. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

It's just look, we just had different types of relationships. It just we different world, man. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 10:19

Just in case I just in case it's a number of it, I ain't even gonna hold you. But when we explain it like that, you're right. It it there is a difference in between. There is a difference in between them. Like you said, that's your last. Yeah, you in a you in a spell, you in a dry spell. A pickle, boy. You need to put that pickle somewhere, you feel me? And you ain't had nowhere else to put it, so you hit that just in case. Because, like you said, the sneaky link didn't come through, the situation ship or whatever the case might be, ain't hit.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Your main, look, your main chick acting up.

Can It Become A Real Relationship

SPEAKER_04 10:53

So you go to the just in case. Uh can't so we talk about graduating, you know what I'm saying? Can a can a situation ship ever actually graduate into a relationship? Can it? Because I ain't never had a situation ship that actually graduated into a relationship. All right, so it's a it's a reason why y'all ain't y'all ain't got together. Y'all doing everything but the title. It's a reason why that title never or the commitment never came.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

No, that's true. I'm trying I'm trying to think of my last situationship.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

None of my situationships ever, ever developed into relationships. I had situationships that I had relationships that developed into some situationships, but I never had the vice versa. You feel me? I've never had it go from from we I've never had it go from playing house to actually be in house. I've never had that. I've never had a a situationship go to a relationship. I've never had playing house go to being house. I've never had that. I'm not saying it can't, but I feel like it can't. I'm not saying it can't, but I definitely feel like it can't.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Um let me tell you. I've been from so look, I've had J I C's turning the situationships. Yeah, I've had situationships turn into relationships. I've had sneaky links turning the relationships, which is crazy, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think I've I've ever had a sneaky link turn. Nah, I ain't never had a sneaky link.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Nah, that it was crazy, it was crazy, but I mean it happened. It is what it is, it happens, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 12:50

It's gonna be what it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Yeah, but um hey, I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_04 13:00

Um it don't happen because like I said, it's rare. I don't know if it's a like a I don't know if it's like a deeper thing, like an emotional connection, but if you in a situation with a person, and let's be real, most of the time, well, I'm saying some of the time, the reason that situationship don't be uh you don't want a relationship is because you still out here living your life. You know that person still out here living their life. Do you ever do you sit down and look at that person and be like, yeah, you the one knowing that whole time both of y'all was at her doing your dirt?

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Oh just speaking from experience, I didn't had it, I done had to go both ways, actually. I done been in that situation where one of us was ready, one of us wasn't, and vice versa. I was ready, she wasn't. And this the situation where the shorty was ready and and or where I was ready and she wasn't, you know what I mean? I kind of got I feel like I got played, you feel me? I feel like I got played like a fiddle. Um, it wasn't a good feeling.

When Feelings Catch Up

SPEAKER_04 14:18

Yeah, nah, facts, it ain't no good feeling. I can tell you, so my my last situation shit, I ain't gonna hold you. I was the person who wanted the relationship. I started with okay. I started with all right, cool, it's cool. We're doing what we do. All right, bet. But then you around this part again, you around this person so dang much. They just pulling up. I just want to come sleep in your bed with you. All right, that's cool, whatever. Door door open. I'm gonna, I'm probably already gonna be asleep, but yeah, you come through. That person wakes you up or whatever. Y'all had a little conversations and shit. So you start developing these feelings. So I'm like, all right, I want you know what I'm saying, what's up? I'm trying, I'm trying to be together. You know I don't want all that right now. All right, cool. So nigga still go, and then go at her again. I'm still single, so I'm going at her doing what I do. She's gonna do what she do. But I I'm looking at her feeling away, cuz hey man, why you ain't really got you ain't really gonna do that because I'm trying to be in a relationship. Nah, you I just not I tell you it's not what I want. All right, so we still live in our past. Cool. I started dating somebody, then I end up in a relationship. So, of course, the situationship is gone. Tell me why the situationship pops up after I find out I'm about to be in a relationship talking about some uh nah, I won't be together. Where were you at all this time before? When your clock done expired, baby girl. You man, you've been on the clock. I gave you the opportunity a couple times. Damn, one time that person did give me the opportunity, and I kind of was like, I was still having fun, I had some new, and so I was having fun, so I kind of was like, new is crazy, bruh. That's the best way to put it. I met somebody new, I'm like, oh, I not right now. If you had if we had done this four months ago, I would have been with it. Damn, you feel me? Like I said, I went on, continue still living my life, but yeah, no, but as soon as I got in a relationship, now the situation is like, all right, let's be together. You know I'm in a relationship now, so how are we gonna I can do how we gonna make this work? So look, my response was so all that time before you want me, but as soon as you see somebody else won't want me, there you dare you. All right, I don't even think you really wanna be in a relationship with me. You just don't want this person to be with me. I'm not your ball, shoddy. I'm not your ball, shoddy. So yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like I said, I don't really think I don't I don't think situationships go to relationships. I think relationships go to situationships, and then they could, you know, go down the path to sneaky links or whatever, or or whatever the case may be. But I don't think, at least that's just me from my perspective. I don't think you can.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

I I think it could, but it's it's gotta be the right, the right puzzle pieces gotta be gotta be matching, you feel me? It can't be, like we said, one party valuing more than the other. Because oftentimes uh you get strung alone like a little fiddle. That pieper playing that pipe. Putting your ass out. Or or she uh she opened up Splash Mountain, let you ride a couple times and all your good sense out the window.

SPEAKER_04 18:15

When that waterfall hitting, hey, brothers don't be thinking about nothing. You hear me? If that waterfall be if that splash different hey, you might as well go ahead. Hey, you might as well go call this courtesy. What you look what they say, what you about to do? You feel me? Because you could just go stay here. You feel me? You ain't got no plans, you ain't got no plans, and whatever the plans was, we could change them. Right here, right. Go ahead, counsel. You feel me? Was that if that splash different?

unknown 18:51

Shh.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Mountain boy, boy. But you say splash mountain. Hey, not everybody got a splash mountain. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that. A lot of people, a lot of females think they're beat you.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Nah, nah, nah. Keep it a being. Look, I ain't gonna I know when splash mountain, that splash mountain be out of order a lot. But when it's but when it's splash, it's splash. Out of order, bro.

How Long It Lasts And Why

SPEAKER_04 19:23

Hey, bro, a lot of people, a lot, okay, a lot of people, a lot of people think they got splash mountain. In low-key, they got they got the kitty pool. They uh it's not, this ain't it's ain't it's ain't the red, it's not the ride that I thought it was gonna be. This ain't the ride that you hyped it up to be. More often than not, too. This ain't this is the swim, this is the swimming pool at the hotel. This ain't this ain't amusement park. Just but hey, I'm sure female, we gotta be fair, I'm sure female, I've been a bunch of dudes be promising a lot of shit that do not back up, back up. So it goes both ways. You feel me? So get in, you know, they go through their shit too. But I could tell you from experience, a lot of them be the swimming, the ho the hotel swimming pool. All right, uh no judgment. This is a judgment free zone. What's the longest you stayed in a situation ship?

SPEAKER_03 20:26

The longest. Um trying to think, bro, like active situationship. Like, like and not even the relationship to turn to the situation ship, just straight situations.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

Just straight situationship, probably probably like six months, six, seven months.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Okay, that's respectable.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Until I when I realized it wasn't going nowhere and got it, got out.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

Yeah, most time situationships ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

All right, uh I'm saying though, I look, I thought it was turning into the relationship. That was me.

SPEAKER_04 21:19

Come to find out it ain't doing that, just a situation ship. It's just gonna be a situation ship. Uh like I said, it's a judgment-free zone. Uh I got two in my head, and one of them, I'm kind of like, I don't know if that really counts as a situation ship. It has it kind of morphs into everything, it morphs into sneaky link, it also morphs into situationship, it also morphs into just a case. But uh what we I referred to it before as what the uh 10 year sneaky link. We talked about this before that thing, that thing. Morphs, you know, it well, it morphed, you know what I'm saying, to a bunch of different stuff, but it never morphed into something, it never morphed into nothing more. Nothing serious. Never morphed into nothing more, even though the other party won it. But the one I could, but like I said, that that had stops and breaks. Like when she in a relationship, we cut off. When I'm in a relationship, we cut off, you know what I'm saying? But hey, the longest I've been in one, I ain't gonna lie, but you're in some change. What am I saying?

SPEAKER_03 22:35

That's not that's not bad. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

You're in a half consistent of consistent situationship, consistent consistent situationship. It was supposed to start at it. It was supposed to start at just friends, but by the third time she came over.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

That friendship was out the window, bruh.

SPEAKER_04 23:00

Friendship was out the window, ass was in the air. You hear me? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 23:04

We gotta we gotta morph this relationship into something else.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

It developed into more, it developed into a it developed into a a situation, but it never morphed into that relationship. But yeah, you're oops, you're in some change is crazy. You're in change is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

All right, uh hold on, hold on. And that year in the in some change, who was the who was holding out?

SPEAKER_04 23:31

That's the uh one I was talking about.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Ah, okay, okay, I got you.

Ending It And Cutting Contact

SPEAKER_04 23:37

We both came in with the same because low-key, I came in with my mask still somewhere else. So I was just alone for the ride for a minute. I was alone for the ride for a minute, and then again, I was like, all right, let's try, let's look, you know, let's try the relationship. But even then, I still kind of have my mask somewhere else. But shit never shit never unfolded. Um how do you end a situation? Do you have to talk, or do you just be like you just quit talking? You know what I mean? Like how you end it? Do you just you just quit talking and say, all right, you know what I'm saying? Uh but that person be at your crib so much, they probably got a shirt or two over, so you can't really just you feel me. Situationships end harder for me. Situationships seem like they end harder than breakups.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

I can see that.

SPEAKER_04 24:48

Because breakups, you can you can kind of see it coming. As it were, a situation, like you said, it's everything but the title, it's everything but the commitment, but you don't really you you don't know when the end is really coming.

SPEAKER_03 24:59

You don't really see the bad stuff, yeah. You see it, but it ain't, you know, it's few, far, and in between.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Yeah, because it I don't have any expectations of this.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

So uh let me see. I feel like nah, that one I referred to, yeah. Nah, it just ended. So like I said, uh I felt played, I took my shit and I went the fuck home. Yeah, changed my low-key, changed my number and everything. For real. You wanted them to change the numbers? Nah, I ain't really changed my number. I'm like, I'm one of them love, look, new phone who this.

SPEAKER_04 25:36

New phone who this let on litter no more. Oh, have you okay, have you ever had to change your number because of a because of a female?

SPEAKER_03 25:49

I nah, bro. I done had the same number for almost 10 years now.

SPEAKER_04 25:55

I've had to change my number because of female. But not in the sense of like, hey, I want this person to quit calling me and they still find the contacts. It was more so of why she keep calling you, change your number. And the nigga just like, I mean, cool. You kind of got a point. Yeah, you got a point. All right, man. How she had how you how you block the number, but she keeps trying to you. Hell my own. I don't know. Yeah, block on everything and change your number. And when you're in a relationship, you be like, all right, Cooper, it ain't even hey, it worked the argument. You got it. Say less.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Especially when in when you when you write, when you write, you write.

Closure And What We Really Want

SPEAKER_04 26:40

Yeah, when you write, you write. Especially when I know I ain't going out the way to reach out to her. I ain't doing nothing. Nah, you got a point. You got it. Say less. I'm gonna keep my peace in my household before, or I'm gonna keep my peace in my relationship before I worry about somebody who I who I'm purposely not trying not to try not to talk to. Everybody else can just get the hey, they can just get the new number. Oh so let's go into closure. Let's have an honest color conversation about closure. When you ask a female for closure, do you really want closure? Or you want something else? Let's keep bro, let's keep it above. When you say we're gonna keep it real on this on this pie.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

Hey, we always gotta keep it real.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

We keep it real on this pie. We talk about me, you know, me and you, how we mo how we feel. You know, do we in our pay in our past situations or relations or whatever? When we ask for closure, do we really want closure or we want something else?

SPEAKER_03 27:45

I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

Because I'm gonna keep it a beam. Look for me, dad.5 out of 10. I want something else. I think it was one time I really wanted closure. It was one time I really want to know why this what happened, why you decide to leave, or whatever the case may be. Any other time when I'm talking about out, I just want some closure, or I just better yet. Hey, if it's over, why don't we just say, you know, have have pass it out personally face to face one last time? I want one thing. I'm trying, because in my head, if we do this one thing, uh, we still good. Hey, I'm not I'm not looking for closure. I'm looking for continuance. You feel me? I'm not looking for closure, I'm looking for continuance. If if I call you, hey, if I call and say I'm looking for closure, nah, bro. I'm trying, I'm looking to keep this going.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

I'm looking for coochie, yeah. What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_04 28:52

And not just once. I'm trying to see, all right, how long we gotta stretch this out before she can actually do it, or hey, or before I'm actually done, because most you know, I could be done too, and I could be like, bro, this girl gonna nerd. When we saw back she had that splash mountain, I can't leave splash mountain. That's my amusement part. You feel me? Well, I'll go less my amusement park. So now if I hey, I want one, I want one thing. That's what I'm looking for if I talk about some closure.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Speak for me, you know. What about you? Uh uh same thing, same thing. I ain't gonna say same thing. Um you be looking for closure. Generally, every time that I've asked for closure, it started off as actually wanting some closure.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

I respect it.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Only thing I wanted to close that door. That was it, boy. It was now the so the first time I I was like, yo, I think we need closure. We we need to hash this out. It was a Mother's Day? Was it a Mother's Day? Was it a Father's Day? I think it was a Mother's Day. And uh, yeah, no, Charlie came over, we sat, we talked. She's like, Oh, you watching uh, you watching a movie, what you watching? I said, Oh, this is just the first Best Man. She said, she said, Oh, I ain't never seen this. Oh, bet. What about Best Man Holiday? Uh needless to say. The only thing that was closed was the dough.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

Only thing was closed was the dough. Next place hit y'all there, man. You still watch her?

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Ain't nobody there.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

Ain't nobody there.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Yeah, no, no, no. With closure, I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_04 31:17

Have I ever I can think of one time I actually wanted closure and I wasn't trying to knock again. Don't get me wrong, I would have knocked again, but I wasn't trying to. Any other time, I ain't trying to knock again. But I can think of one time, bruh. So it's a female, I was just dating. But you know, it what you say, you could see, you know, stuff was we we button heads a lot, stuff ain't really. Um, she like, I want to be done, and I'm like, all right, man. Let's talk about it face to face. If you want if you if you feel confident enough to say it to my face, then all right, cool. I'm gonna I'm gonna accept that you wanna leave. I'm gonna take that L. If you feel confident enough that you can say it to my face, then because that means you're done and you really checked out. All right, man.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

Yeah, yeah. You can look get from behind that phone and come holler at me.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

You could do it on the phone, you can do it in a text message, but doing it in person means you really done. So I'm like, all right, man, won't you meet her? You don't wanna come to my house? Well, I you know, can't go to yours. All right, but let's let's just meet at this park real quick. Let's just meet at this park real quick. I'm like, so I uh you know, we pull up to the park, she hoped with the car. I got the bruh, got the seat all the way back. I'm like, so what's up? Nothing, what's up? Why you can't look at me? Because I don't want to look at you. Why why you can't look at me? That's why you that's why we here. We here to we here to make eye contact and have this conversation. I don't want I don't want to look at you. Man, come on, look, look, reached out, grabbed the hand. So what's up? Why you it's really what you wanna do? I know, but I feel like I have to come here, man. Hold on for real, hold on. It's really what you wanna do. Needless to say. What'd I say? I come for one thing when I'm talking back in closure. Continuance in the in the park, you hear me? Not current. Hey, a couple months later, same person. Did it again? Now I don't wanna pull up because you know what happened last time.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

And she done peeped your game.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

She peeped game. I respect it. Guess what she still did? Hey, she recognized gang. That's it. Recognize game, follow suit. Still pulled up. What happened? Continue us, my boy. Hey, hey, I'm patty. I'm petty nigga. I thought you was done though. Hey, look, points it back. That don't look like done to me. You feel me?

SPEAKER_02 34:13

That's why the pocket.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Wow, bro. Doker. Hey bro, I was what I say, I was wilder in my younger days. But when it when the relationship is actually over. What's worse? Not actually getting closure. Or getting the closure that you really didn't want. Cause you know, when you actually get that real closure and she really does, when I say she pulls up and she said to your face, she gonna list all the shit that she got an issue with. Yeah. What's worse? Hearing about yourself or just not getting closure at all.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

What is worse? Uh it probably be no closure at all. Cause I mean, I low-key, it's nothing like wondering what a bitch thinking. What's really what's really uh uh excuse my French, wondering what's on a woman's mind.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

Yeah, yeah. Cause they mind, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Cause you know, I know what I experienced, I know what happened here. And for for one to just walk out that door, never speak to them again, never, and you don't know nothing. Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 35:46

Yeah, nah, I ain't gonna uh yeah, like I said, it was one time that I actually wanted closure, I never got closure for that one, and then for a little minute, it kind of ate me up because I'm like, damn, you could at least I ain't I'm not what I always would say was I ain't mad at you for leaving. I just want to know why you left. That's all you a you you I look, I did some shit, you entitled, you won't leave, but why did you leave? Because when I had done the shit, you didn't leave.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 36:25

She leaves it because of the shit. She didn't leave because of shit. This was time. Time had elapsed. So I'm trying to figure out all right. So what made you what what made you leave? I never get that closure. And that, like I said, it sat with me for a minute, it stung for a little bit. Of course, you know, but they always say time heals our wounds, so you kind of uh you move on, you forget about it. But yeah, yeah, at that time I did want it that closure, and it stung worse, not getting it. Because you, if you won't read me the ride act and tell me, cool, imagine. I already know some of the shit I had done, but like I said, the key word was had it, and a lot of that was before we actually put a title on it. Not all, not a lot of most of it was before I actually put a title on it. That's the crazy part. Hey, you know exactly that, Bell of Chill. Uh now, can closure come years later, or do it gotta come right in and there?

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Closure could come, hell, closure could come anytime on your deathbed at this point. Um I feel like I mean, but it you get over it though, I feel like eventually. We at this point. We on a we on the same, this we on the we on the same playing field at this point. You didn't get closure, did I?

SPEAKER_04 38:16

Yeah, nah, yeah, that close that closure. It uh like I said, it'll sting with you for a little minute. Uh if you but wait now, like I said, it'll sting for a little minute.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

But if we three years down the line, don't try to come open up no no old wounds though.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

I was getting ready to say, like, what's the definition of a little minute? Like, I feel like it's gotta I feel like it's gotta be an expiration though, an expiration date on closure.

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Because if you the mudo and I done ain't only this, yeah, ain't only this even doing it.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

We already closed, you feel me? Like, I seen a tick tock where the man pulled up to his ex-wife to get closure because he was about to marry somebody else. If you already about to get married, it's already closed, my boy. Yeah, like and maybe somebody can like me and explain it better to me because I feel like I guess you you gonna don't get me wrong, like I understand the feelings is gonna be there and your thoughts is gonna be there in the like the what ifs. Like, I understand that it's gonna be better. But do I really wanna do I really need to open that door to close it all completely? Like the door gotta look cracking. Do I really need to open it all the way to get to fully close it and deal with all of that, or just continue on with my life? But maybe that's just maybe that's maybe that's my way of thinking, and other people's is different. And you know what I'm saying? For somebody got something differently, I wouldn't mind her in that her in that uh her in that sad. But before we get out of here, man, uh petty argument.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

Pettiest argument. Ever?

SPEAKER_04 40:12

Ever. Hold on, let me ask a question. Is checking a phone is that petty? Is that would that be considered petty?

SPEAKER_03 40:18

I wouldn't what do you mean checking a phone? Like you go to check the phone and you're not allowed to check the phone, or you check the phone and you argue about what you find in the phone.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

You check the phone and you find you argue about what you find in the phone. Is that petty?

SPEAKER_03 40:35

What's petty is what what you found, what you arguing about. That's what depends on what's the petty part is.

SPEAKER_04 40:46

I don't think that I don't think I could be petty personally, at least from my experience of checking the phone. Hey, everybody be like, why you don't I don't play them phone games? Because I checked the phone twice and found something both times.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

Twice?

SPEAKER_04 41:02

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, different people.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

Hopefully, like uh I was like it at some point look we have to change our tactics now. Like I ain't saying I cosign with it, but I'm saying I understand.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

If I look, if I go through your phone twice and find some shit I ain't supposed to, then that means we ain't supposed to. It's only one thing that's supposed to, and then hey, we not that means we not supposed to. Yeah, no, what I say, bro. I went through phones twice. Ooh, sir, I found out the hard way both times.

SPEAKER_03 41:43

Um I I done been through a phone once. And like I said, what I saw, I didn't want to see. No, sir, you keep that. I don't I don't need it. I don't need it. Like I said, it wasn't even nothing bad, nothing dastily like that. It was just something that I did not need to see. Nah, facts.

SPEAKER_04 42:06

Yeah, bruh. Uh okay, let me ask this. If you in a bad mood and you start an argument, is that petty?

SPEAKER_02 42:15

That's petty. Yeah. Nah, nah, nah, that's petty.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

But what if it's something what if it's over a valid reason that you've just been ignoring for a while? Like, for a woman, dude left the toilet seat up too many times. He'd been he'd been leaving this toilet seat up. But today, because you in a bad mood because of work, you just decide to let bruh have it.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

Is that a petty or a it's it's that petty?

SPEAKER_04 42:39

Because in her defense, she told bruh multiple times, don't leave this toilet seat up. Or, you know, she told bruh lay that chicken out. Bruh didn't lay that chicken out. But it's like her fourth time because bruh be playing on the game.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

You tell you tell her, hey, don't argue, nah, argue when you're mad as that. It's petty. It is petty, but it can be valid.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

I'm gonna say the reason could be valid, but the action is petty.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

Action is petty, valid reasons.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

Okay, cool, cool. But you got a you got a petty argument, Story?

The Phone Charger Blowup Story

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Um, the pettiest argument that I can think of off the top of my head was over a phone charger. Alright, let's break it down story time. So look, man. It was this little bad little thing. She really wasn't even bad. It was just something I was scoping out for a long time to get me back in a gig. Then um, we uh she throwing this party and she's like, Yo, I want you to come to my party. You know, I'm like, Yeah, bet save me a dance. I'm not gonna tell y'all what kind of party it is. I'm gonna try to give away nothing all that we're gonna keep it, keep it core. I'm just trying to go to this party, get my dance. Um, Shadi just broke up with her boyfriend. You know, it was up. So I'm at the crib. I got shoddy at the crib. I'm like, yeah, I'm finna go to this party. I'm gonna holler at you, you know, later. She said, wait, before you leave, I need your phone charger. You need my phone charger. Wait a minute, what you need my phone charger for? I said, You where are you going? You're gonna be here at the crib. You don't need no phone charger. I'm the one that's out with this dead ass phone. I need to charge my shit up. You charge my shit, yeah. Nah, it it didn't pop into my head at the time. I mean, it did, but it didn't. I could have just took a wall charger, took it to the party, charged my phone up like that. I'm like, nah, I want my shit to charge in the car on the way over there. Well, that way I ain't gotta, you know, I can keep my phone with me.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

That way I can, you know, boop, boop, boop, boop.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

What you say? Have it with me. What you say it? I'm letting her know. No, no, no. I'm not leaving no phone charge. I'm like, yo, you work at motherfucking city trends, bitch. Where's your phone? You work around phone charges, go get you one. What are we talking about? Yeah, like what are we talking about? You want to come home and use my shit? No, I think the fuck not. Got me twisted, yeah. Not today, especially when I got planned. So we into it, we going back and forth. It's it's you a bitch ass nigga. This the fuck you see the the bitch ass nigga that used to be my trigger there. That used to be my trigger there. So I'm I'm gonna I'ma show you a bitch ass nigga, man. I I thorn past her ass. I go into the bathroom. This is back in when I had my first apartment. Go into the bathroom, man. That's where the burker box was.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

I think pink pink pink pink pink pink.

SPEAKER_03 45:58

Turned all them bitches off. I'm gonna show you, look, I'm gonna show you who the who the BAN is tonight. And I proceed to go out and go to my party, and I go to slam the door, and the door knob come off. I was like, fuck. So now I gotta turn around, go back in here, flip these breakers back on. Needless to say, I did not go to the party that night.

The Hoodie You Never Get Back

SPEAKER_04 46:30

Hey bro, what's up, it was over with. Oh shit. Bruh, I'm trying to think. Pettiest argument I could think of off the top of my head was over a sweatshirt or a hoodie. You know how females, you know, I won't wear your shirt. Matter of fact, it's a it's a couple mixed vibe shirts that I just ain't never got back. But anyways. I won't wear your sweatshirt. Can I wear your sweatshirt? I'm going home, it's raining, I didn't bring nothing. All right, go ahead. You could can I take this one? Nah, it's two right there. Why don't you take one of them? I'm handing you these two. Like I pointed to you and said, Yeah, grab one of them. She's like, nah, I won't take this one. I'm like, no. Take you have one of these two. Like, what do you you feel me? What do you what you what you own, bro? Why why am I giving you a it's a uh it's it's a city trans. You get to pick what you want. I'm giving you a hoodie to take with you. Matter of fact, you can get one of these if you want to. I ain't tripping. Nah, you can't. I just got this one. Like, I don't, I want this one to come back. Bro, we arguing five bro five ten minutes about a daggone hoodie. I'm like, and because at that point it was the principal, fam. I offered you these two. Nah, I literally just bought you. We was together when I just bought this one. I ain't wore it but once. Like, you know what I mean? Like, nah, like you take one, take one of them.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Let me wash it a couple times first.

SPEAKER_04 48:17

Bro, that's all I was saying. Like, I can I wear can I wear my hood? Can I wear my hoodie a couple times first? That's all I'm saying. If this was three weeks from now, all right, man. Go ahead. I'd have got some warrant to it. But yeah, nah. Five, ten minutes, bro. Why she take the hoodie anyway? Took the hoodie anyway. And then when she would come back over to the crib, never had the hoodie. And a couple of times, hey, you bring my hoodie back. Don't give my hoodie this time. Okay, I got you. She pulled up. Got her house with a nightbag. She pulled the shit out. She didn't pull out no hoodie. Why you come? Why you come over my house? You came over the house with You knew you was coming over here. In a different hoodie that was also mine, that I didn't even know you had. But didn't bring that hoodie back. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:19

Did you uh ever get said hoodie back?

SPEAKER_04 49:21

No, bro. I never got said hoodie back. Never.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

Hey, bro. Chuck it the deuces, but that was charge into the game.

SPEAKER_04 49:31

I'll tell you who. When did we get off the park? But hey, man, Quack, I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

Hey man, anytime I enjoy to be over here on a different scene with a different vibe.

Network Shoutouts And Wrap Up

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Yeah, man. I guess you know, since we own stuff, we probably should promote stuff.

SPEAKER_03 49:53

Ah, yeah, you know. Shout out to Meeks Vibes Podcast, your favorite Amazon podcast. You can find it wherever you get your podcast.

SPEAKER_04 50:01

Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Uh, we also got uh, you wanna do the rest of them, or you want me to do the rest of them?

SPEAKER_03 50:06

Ah, bro. You know, we get we got a bunch of them, brother. You know, just hey, rapid fire.

SPEAKER_04 50:12

Uh shoot. From my perspective, me and Dion, shout out to the boy Dion. Shout out to Ho, please. I said what I said, Big Sus Nell, Big Sus Cuz, and Shavano. Uh Mr. Combos with K and S. They, you know what I'm saying? They still got they, they still got stuff up. Uh respectfully, you're wrong. Shout out to Joe that just released. Yeah, I think I said for now.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

From my perspective. Oh, you already said.

SPEAKER_04 50:38

Yeah, I said that one first. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:40

Yeah, yeah. Storytime coming soon.

SPEAKER_04 50:42

Hey, you know, story time comes soon. I don't know. That's what I heard. I don't know. Look, I don't know if it was jokes.

SPEAKER_03 50:50

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was a look, look, what they say there's a green light, that was a gray light. That was just an idea. That was just an idea.

SPEAKER_04 51:00

Hey man, thank y'all for listening to Hold Up in another thing presented by Mixed Vives Media. If you ever just want to find Mix Vibes, any Mixed Vibs podcast, you can just go to your platform and search Mixed Vibes. Don't forget to Z, and all of them gonna pop up. Hell, three mics still might pop up if we ain't did that in all.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

Three mics.

SPEAKER_04 51:22

That A L T. You feel me? But yeah, I am your boy, Mr. Bell. Aka what? Yeah, it's your boy, Mr. Bell, aka can't say your name up on the spot. Might not with you tomorrow. We're gonna catch y'all on the next one. Peace.